Old Gum

What has your life come to?

About

Note: This website is a joke, which was made by 2 bored kids. Please don't put any information important to you such as your real name or credit card info on this site. Thanks!

Here is the About Page, where you get to know (not much) stuff about us as well as a F.A.Q. to answer (most of) your questions you had.

Now here is a few (almost obvious) things about us:

And we live here:

Enough about us, lets get questionny? answerey? Whatever the word is....F.A.Q:

Q: How does age affect the taste of Old Gum?

A: Because we flavor the gum after aging, you still have the fresh new flavors of Banana flavored Ketchup or Ketchup flavored Banana.


Q: What nutrients does Old Gum have?

A: Depends on the flavor. The Ketchup flavored Banana flavor has Vitamin B*, Vitamin C*, Vitamin D*, Vitamin F*, Vitamin G*, Vitamin H*, Vitamin J*, Vitamin K*, Vitamin L*, Vitamin M*, Vitamin P*, Vitamin Q*, Vitamin R*, Vitamin S*, Vitamin T*, Vitamin V*, Vitamin W*, Vitamin X*, Vitamin Y*, and Vitamin Z*. The Banana flavored Ketchup flavor has Vitamin A*, Vitamin E*, Vitamin I*, Vitamin O*, Vitamin U*, Iron*, Zinc*, Niacin*, Folic Acid*, Biotin*, Calcium*, Iodine*, Magnesium*, Potassium*, and Manganese*.


Q: How long does this Special Offer last?

A: It will last until tomorrow, at 11:59 pm, EST.**


Q: Is Old Gum meant to be eaten?

A: What do you think?***


Q: Who chews the gum?

A: Our specialty Gum-Chew-O-Matic 2000. It mixes our saliva replica with chewing action and a warm temperature to recreate a mouth. This gives you a great texture and is also sanitary.


Q: How do I buy Old Gum?

A: You do(n't). You can also buy Old Gum in the Buy Section of our website, but be careful, do not enter a real credit card number.

*less than 1 ppm
**aka forever
*** in simpler terms, No!
****It's 7. (on a clock)